Blood Thirsty

I am suicidal. I'm not ashamed of it. Its not something I'm also proud of. But, my suicidal days are still vivid parts of my being.

I've slashed my wrists and stabbed myself. I even faked a motorcycle accident. Being a person who hides what she feels made it difficult for me to handle problems. Writing became a useless outlet when my problems suffocated me.

I am at this phase... the phase where I most often thought of ending my life again. Problems everywhere. Home, work, personal ones... I hate what they're making me feel. Useless, unworthy, a nuisance, a black sheep.

I'm thirsty for blood. My own blood. I want to feel it ooze out of my body again. But this time, I'd close my eyes... to welcome that warm feeling and...

To keep myself from losing consciousness because of hematophobia.