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Saturday, August 29, 2009

My Karma

I chose to leave him. Reasons ruled over feelings.

Call my reasoning twisted. But the minute I learned the truth about him made me instantly think of my friends... and the other people that might benefit from me leaving him.

It was a hard decision. It took a lot of courage. And it was hard to fight back the emotions that's building up inside. I had to restrain myself from reaching out to him and tell him what I really feel about him.

He's my karma. The one I chose to love and leave behind... 'coz reasons weighed heavier than feelings.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Kagabi, sa Bar...

Panggabi ang schedule ko sa resto-bar kung saan ako nag-o-OJT. Habang naghihintay ng trabaho, tumatambay kami sa likod nung bar, open area, kita lahat ng tao sa paligid. Habang humihithit ako ng yosi, tinawag kami nung isa naming kasamang lalaki. Apparently, he was watching yung eksena sa labas ng bar, dun malapit sa ilog.

Mag-syota. Nagtatalo. Naglalakad sila tapos biglang tumalikod at tumakbo yung babae. Naka-heels s'ya na pwedeng dahilan kung bakit mabilis siyang naabutan nung lalaki. Hinatak nung guy si girl, sinampal ni girl si guy. And the next thing we saw was the guy slapping the girl back.

Grabe yun, parang kami mismong nanonood nung eksena ay hindi makapagpigil. Gusto nga nung mga kasama kong lalaki na bumaba ng bar at puntahan yung mag-syota. Kitang-kita kasi namin kung paano hatak-hatakin at tila ibalibag nung lalaki yung babae. The girl tried to fight back but the guy pinned her to a cement post. Yun nga lang, mapapagalitan kami. Naka-duty pa kasi kami e. Wala rin yung isang guard na nagroronda sa lugar.

Bakit kaya may mga babaeng natitiis yung pananakit ng mga jowa nila? Di pa nga sila kasal, nagagawa na siyang saktan, what more pa kapag tumuloy dun di ba? Naaawa ako sa babaeng yun kagabi. Pero nawala yung awa ko nung nakita kong magkaakbay pa silang umalis kagabi. Parang walang nangyaring sakitan... Tsk. Tsk.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Kung Hindi Pa...

kung di pa ako nasubsob, di ko magagawang maglakad ng marahan. di pala lahat ng bagay nadadaan sa mabilisan. may mga bagay palang dapat hinay-hinay lang.

kung di pa ako nauntog, di ko maiisip na unti-unti ko palang sinasayang buhay ko. alak, yosi, gimik... parang walang bukas. di pala dapat ganun.

panghuli, kung di ka pa dumating, malamang, hedonist pa rin ako... overusing my freedom and seizing each day as if there's no tomorrow.

salamat sa pagpatid at pag-untog sa akin. ikaw ang karma ko. karmang di pwedeng talikuran.

bakit pa? eh i'm hooked na.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Tarot Reading 3

Got another set of tarot reading... This time, I got Reflection, Temperance, and Empress.
Scroll down to read what each card means.


Context - Reflection
Now is the time for deep introspection. Slip into a quiet place and do some soul searching. Reflection represents the time to examine yourself on deep spiritual and emotional levels. This card may also signify the need for some me time to regroup from a tring experience or loss that has left some part of you drained.

Focus - Temperance
The Temperance card represents balance. All things must be in balance for the outcome to materialize. The appearance of this card in the deck may indicate some loose ends that need to be completed so some outcome can be realized!

Outcome - Empress
The Empress is all about energy and flow and is the feminine card. A project started by the Fool is likely to come to fruition with the Empress on your side. This is a fertility card and not necessarily in the biological sense. This card provides the support and creativity to accomplish your innermost endeavor that has been on your mind.

Previous entry described what Context, Focus and Outcome is for. Read it here.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Emotions on the Run 2

I had a lot of awful days last week. It kind of started okay… Laughter and peace dominated the first few days… Mid-week, I started getting bad news, one-by-one.

Thursday night, I thought things will be okay. Come Friday, I started to hate the entire week. I won’t go into much detail about it. But because of what happened that day, I am slowly losing respect for someone.

My weekend turned out to be semi-okay. Thanks to alcohol and friends, there’s not much whining… TG!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Love For Me

A dream, a whim, a simple desire
A plea, a prayer, a silent wish
They're all inside, kept in the dark
Tiny rumblings of one's foolish heart.

To fall, to feel, to skip a thump
To want, to need, a faster beat
Can bring forth chaos if not serenity.
An erratic feeling amidst tranquility

One-Way

An unrequited love begets undying devotion
A well thought lie can drown all the truth
Dreams and wishful thinking can be disastrous

A broken soul takes a lot of time to heal
A misplaced trust can you one's pain
Feelings when trampled, brings forth agony

Would you rather be wise but unhappy?
Or would you be a fool and be at ease?
Will you play it safe, let go when unsure?

Accept pain, learn through each mistake.
Take note of each lesson, avoiding repeat
This is love when like a one-way street...

*originally created last 12 November 2008*

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Smoke-Free

I have not smoked any cigarette for 3 days. Does this mean my smoker days are over?? Well, I kinda miss it. But some friends are keeping their fingers crossed!

Two years ago, I decided to stop it in an instant. I successfully did it for 2 days. On the third day, I started craving for a stick. I was not able to control myself.

Back then, I can only quit for 2 days. On the 3rd day, I'd begin to feel symptoms of withdrawal. This time, there's no withdrawal symptoms... No dry throat, no shaking. I just hope this would continue.

I think?

Friday, August 7, 2009

Nicotine Free

I have not smoked any cigarette since yesterday.
Am I finally letting go of my smoking habit??

I hope not!

I have been smoking since high school.
And I plan to stop after a year or two.

Tomorrow, if the whole day would pass without me craving for any stick, even a small puff...
I'm sure to stop smoking!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Keep Your Distance!

Last night, I was searching for random words at google. It has been a habit to check on some words, their history, meaning, etc. Words like hugging, people, personal space and bubble were just some of the things I typed at google.com's seach box. Then I came across this word: PROXEMICS.

According to one entry, Proxemics was introduced by one anthropologist, Edward T. Hall. It refers to the measurable distance between two interacting people. There are 4 delineations for same. They are:
  1. Intimate Distance - close phase at less than 6 inches, far phase is from 6 to 18 inches
  2. Personal Distance - close phase at 1.5 to 2.5 feet, far phase is at 2.5 to 4 feet
  3. Social Distance - close phase is at 4 to 7 feet, far phase is from 7 to 12 feet
  4. Public Distance - close phase is 12 to 25 feet, far phase is 25 feet or more
If we'd look at the distances, we can say that:
  1. Intimate Distance - for people with good relations, possibly romantic because this is the most common distance for embracing, touching or whispering
  2. Personal Distance - distance for good friends
  3. Social Distance - for acquaintances
  4. Public Distance - usually used for public speaking
Now, Proxemics vary with one's culture. A personal distance for one can already be an intimate distance to another.

So, if you happen to find yourself in the company of someone who drives you away to be at least 2-3 feet far from them, try not to be angry at them. For all we know, we're just making them uncomfortable with the short distance. You wouldn't want them to think you're intrusive, right?

As for me, you might make the distance a bit bigger. I become uneasy whenever someone's within my personal bubble.


source: http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Proxemics#encyclopedia

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Ho-Hum 3

I can't find the right words to express my thoughts.
I'm preoccupied with a lot of ideas.
I've planned to sort them out today.
Guess what?

My baby sister's been bugging me with a lot of her childish drawings.
More like scribbles and stick figures of her playmates.

Hayst... :(
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