Alak at Love

Nakakalasing pala 'yung pag-ibig no? Yung alak kapag wala, parang gustong-gusto mong sumayad sa lalamunan mo. Yung love pag wala, parang gusto mong ma-in love.

Pag may alak naman... (basahin ang kabuuan dito.)

My Karma

I chose to leave him. Reasons ruled over feelings.

Call my reasoning twisted. But the minute I learned the truth about him made me instantly think of my friends... and the other people that might benefit from me leaving him.

It was a hard decision. It took a lot of courage. And it was hard to fight back the emotions that's building up inside. I had to restrain myself from reaching out to him and tell him what I really feel about him.

He's my karma. The one I chose to love and leave behind... 'coz reasons weighed heavier than feelings.

Love For Me

A dream, a whim, a simple desire
A plea, a prayer, a silent wish
They're all inside, kept in the dark
Tiny rumblings of one's foolish heart.

To fall, to feel, to skip a thump
To want, to need, a faster beat
Can bring forth chaos if not serenity.
An erratic feeling amidst tranquility

One-Way

An unrequited love begets undying devotion
A well thought lie can drown all the truth
Dreams and wishful thinking can be disastrous

A broken soul takes a lot of time to heal
A misplaced trust can you one's pain
Feelings when trampled, brings forth agony

Would you rather be wise but unhappy?
Or would you be a fool and be at ease?
Will you play it safe, let go when unsure?

Accept pain, learn through each mistake.
Take note of each lesson, avoiding repeat
This is love when like a one-way street...

*originally created last 12 November 2008*

a mumble

I'm not sure what to feel
I'm not even sure if it's worth it.
His feelings weren't real..
And I've been so naive!

my curse?

i've always been afraid to love. and often, id tell them that i'm too afraid to get hurt... hell, whatta lie to cover something that started 6 years ago...

to start with, at that time, i'm with this guy. i'll just call him roy (he's the reason why i'm called raye... eheheh). he's nice and sweet. and i wouldn't mind telling you that well, i almost thought that he'd be the one... yep, the one. but a sudden twist came unexpectedly. he had an accident which took his life instantly. that's dead bf #1, who died october 24..

then, almost 4 years ago, i had another guy... sweet, funny, serious when needed. he's the only one my friends approve of... but then, he died. on another accident, with me. i know i wrote about him on one of my journals... the one titled "3 taon". that's his story. that's for nathan... dead bf #2, dead on the 25th of december.

and as for dead bf #3, well, he died june 26th this year. and hey, another accident. he died on his way to meet me... his mom hated me coz dhie's the only child she had. oh, she's also a widow. so, she's got no one left with her. how she hated me, blamed me for what happened to her son...

at the office, i told my colleagues to call me jynx. that's the way i felt back then. i'm jinxed... i even thought that i was cursed. maybe i am. maybe not. but then, who am i to know? ayt?

as days fly by quickly, i know i'd be in their tombs... on the date of their death, talking to them, as if they're still beside me...

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whew, i wanted to write something serious, but it ended sorta funny. hehe... guess i'll always think of 'em seriously but talk about them in a funny way...


reposted - originally created October 5 2005