Sixth Christmas

It's been 6 long years since we've been together. I could still hear our song playing in the air. I could still see your smile that haunted me every Christmas since you've left.

It's about this time on year 2001 when we were together. You're driving at 80kph, not that fast, not even that slow. I was giggling as you utter each word of that song, our song. From time to time, I'd look at you, just to see your smile that makes me feel at peace.

It's nearing midnight when we decided to speed our way to your house. I could still see how serious you looked while you struggled to sing. I've made fun of you as you missed that one particular high note. We were laughing so hard that we did not see the old woman with her grandson. It's too late to hit on the brakes so you did the only thing you could to spare them.

You swerved to the right. I could still hear that eerie screech and the loud thud. I know we slammed on some wall. But I couldn't remember anything after that. After that loud thud, there's nothing but darkness... and a soothing feeling of floating in mid-air.

Fifty-two hours in coma... that's what your mom told me when I opened my eyes. I tried to look for you but it's just your mom, a doctor, two police officers and two nurses. They did not say anything: the men in uniform just handed me some photos.

Your car's fully wrecked as it smashed on the wall. Inside, I saw you lying face-down. The officer told me that I was under you and that you've sheltered me from the impact and the broken glasses. Upon hearing this, I started to shout. I cursed Him who took you from me and sobbed like a madman. The nurses gave me tranquilizers to calm me. I saw your mom crying as I dozed off to sleep.

This is already the 6th year since that happened. But I could still feel the pain, the heartbreak of losing the only person who could understand me and keep me from harming myself. I still miss you, Nathan. And I'm still wishing you're here... Could you visit me tonight? In my dreams...?