i am

I'm a brat. I'm so used to getting the things that I want, or having things my way. I was spoiled; by my parents, relatives, even my guy friends. I grew up thinking that I could have everything that I want though I never really need it.

I'm selfish. I keep things to myself. I don't want to share. I just want to acquire knowledge and experiences that might help me when I grow old. I'd hide what I have 'cause whatever it is, it's mine.

I'm a pack rat. I keep a lot of things even if they don't have any value. Old chocolate boxes, memoirs, letters... I still have them with me. My room seems crowded because of all the things inside. I have numerous boxes where I keep each type of memento.

I'm a coward. I hide what I feel 'cause I'm afraid to be hurt. I've had numerous blows; countless stabs that I've mended well but remained with scars.

I am a selfish brat who wants to have things going my way. I'm a pack rat whose cowardice makes me keep things to myself and hide what I feel.

I am me.

Piscean Mumble

I've been busy... with work, with personal battles... I've lost time to think, to feel the change in my environment. I'm currently at lost, lost whether it's time to move on... undecided whether I should stay.

There's these attacks again. Depression lurks. Satirical thoughts, caustic words all haunt my sleep. Vivid colors of different hues would turn into black and gray dreams. Feelings evoked would range from sheer joy to pain.

I still don't know the reason behind or what caused these dreams. I'm slowly sinking in my anxiety.

in the morning

when i wake up tomorrow morning, things would be much better. my days would be lighter, i'd feel ready to take on any challenges.

that would be tomorrow... not now coz..

right now, i'm at my lowest. i feel so depressed, unwanted, unloved. alone.