Isang Expression

Madami akong expressions or mga katagang madalas banggitin kapag ako'y nagagalak, nagagalit or naiirita. Madalas ng marinig sa akin ng mga kaibigan ko ang mga katagang: "Musta naman yun?", "Adek", "Maldita", "Sabe ko nga".. at iba pang mga pampuno ng isang pangungusap na kadalasan, wala na akong maidugtong pa. Natatandaan ko dati, simple lang mga alam kong sabihin. Bukod dun, dati ding malinis ang aking pananalita: walang bad words. Sa makatuwid, hindi ako nagmumura.

Ngayon, madaming nagbago. Halos lahat na ata ng masamang salita alam kong sabihin. T*ng*n*, T**n*, P.I, f*ck, wtf!, d*mn.. lahat yun tila kasama na ng bokabularyo ko. Sa katunayan, napansin kong bawat pangungusap na sambitin ko, may kasunod na takte, ta*na, f*ck, atbp. Katulad kanina, dahil lang sa WTF!, nag-away kami ng dati kong kaibigan... The whole incident of me saying that word is not intended for her. Pero ganun yung dating sa kanya. And she even called me mayabang at desperado.

Di ako mayabang. Lalong hindi ako desperado. Sa nangyaring yun, hindi ko alam kung I'd be angry at her coz of what she said to me. Or iintindihin ko na lang s'ya dahil iba ang epekto ng WTF sa kanya? WTF.. isasama ko sa blog na to ang excerpt ng usapan namin. I might be demned for this one pero I didn't expected that kind of attitude from someone I've been friends with during my entire college years.

Maybe it's wrong that I used such words almost all the time. Actually, it doesn't matter to those people who really knew me. Whatever it is, I still don't think including wtf! in the end of my message to her is enough for her to call me mayabang, most of all desperate!

of losing a friend

i've learned to cherish this special friend. although i haven't seen him personally, i considered him as one of those people who had come beneath the surface of knowing me.

he even became my confidante. i shared my problems with him and he was ready to listen. he used to be my angel once... but now...

now, i've lost him. i dunno whether its my fault or his. i may be stubborn. but im still a private person. he's my friend, true. he's my confidante... another truth. but he need not know eveything about me. i'd let him in.. but it would be gradual... slowly... but worth it.

losing a friend like him is like losing a part of yourself. but i know life would let me meet other friends who would not impose anything from me.

reposted - originally created October 27 2004