feeling low

what was the best way to deal with a heartache? what would you do if that was caused by infidelity? how would you wake up the next morning, feeling empty, confused, and lost?

i can't say goodbye. not because i still love him but because words wouldn't be enough to let him feel the anger i'm feeling. how betrayed i was with what he did to me. and now, i'm feeling low.

i can't be the same bubbly person people have known. that girl who loves to laugh. the sweet one. i can't. i can't act like everything's normal. nothing was normal. i can't be cheerful. not now when inside me, there's nothing but pain... and the need to change.

i'm tired of acting i was strong. i'm tired of letting people see that i'm funny... i'm a wacko.. i'm a freak. i'm tired of being used and abused. i'm tired of my pathetic life. i'm tired of my existence.

don't think that i'm like this just because of him. no. he just added to my problems. the saddest part of this thing that's making me low is the acceptance that i've been made a fool. again.

reposted - originally created November 13 2004