Me and My Athame

Since I was a child, I feared the sight of blood. And the mere smell of it makes me feel ill. Earlier, I tried facing my fear. Call me insane... or losing my wits, but that's the only way I thought could take my fear of blood.

So there, I took the athame Dhie gave me. And without thinking twice, I slashed my thigh with it. Slowly, blood trickled down my legs. I know I’m beginning to faint when I started to feel the warm blood coursing down.

I was about to do it again when my hand lost its grip of the athame. My attempt to kill my fear proved pointless. Coz at the last minute, of doing what could've been the extreme, I found myself quitting.

Now, I’m left with a wound to heal. The sudden rush of pain is as thrilling as speeding your way on a highway in a motorbike, without any helmet. The warmth brought by the blood is almost the same as the coolness of wind at faster pace.

Heck, come to think of it, I just missed cutting myself to release the tensions... the fears... I would have surpassed that ordeal. I know that for sure, only if I haven't seen my blood ooze out of my body.


reposted - originally created August 8 2005