where's sanity?

i needed something. a spark. a glow. something that would make me insane. sanity's been making me think. think more than what i could. i'm feeling less. i'm acting less. i keep myself from being humane.

where's sanity? was it with every clear thought? was it in every coherent word? was it through concrete actions that warrants results?

if that's sanity, then i want to be insane. i wanted to fall in a dreamy fashion. i want to blabber about someone who's making me feel special. i want to do crazy things without thinking of what will happen next.

i want to be sane but insanity's what i need... can't someone just fall without being so wrap up with questions of what if's and what's next?